How to Find (& Vet) a Buddhist Teacher
Photo: three greats - Ajahn Chah, Dipa Ma, & Thich Nhat Hanh
By Sophie Jacobs - edited by Aaron Stryker
So you’ve begun to recognize the profound value that meditation and Buddhist practice offers for your life. Perhaps you would like to take a deeper dive into practice and are looking for someone who can guide you along the path. Yet, you may be unsure how to proceed. Should you work with the closest teacher in your area - sticking to whoever is nearby - or remain unwavering in your search for the “perfect teacher” even if they only exist in your imagination?
Before diving into the nuances of vetting a meditation teacher, I must first acknowledge my background and limitations. I have experienced living at a female Theravada monastery for ten months, receiving a temporary ordination as an Anāgārikā, and have otherwise dabbled in meditation groups and lay sanghas offered by lay Dharma teachers in a variety of lineages. I am a young, white, western female Buddhist meditation practitioner. I might emphasize certain aspects of the teacher-student relationship that might not ring true for you. I invite your discernment while reading.
We might believe that if we’re on a mission to find and vet a meditation teacher, we should only focus on the characteristics of the teacher. However, the teacher does not exist in a vacuum, and neither should our discernment. This article touches on the following four characteristics to take note of:
Characteristics of the Teacher
Characteristics of the Sangha
Characteristics of the Student
Characteristics of the Student-Teacher Relationship
A final note before we dive in: this article highlights a number of red flags that one might notice when engaging with a new spiritual teacher or community. Unhealthy spiritual communities are unfortunately common, but I do not want to give the impression that dysfunction is inevitable or even the majority of cases. Rather, by developing a keen sense for what healthy and unhealthy dynamics feel like, we may be able to save ourselves and others significant hurt (or even just wasted time) in the instance that we do encounter such a person. There are many, many wonderful teachers and communities about whom you have little to worry. If you’d like to learn more about places we recommend, visit Places to Practice or our Advising Program.
Characteristics of the Teacher:
Many Westerners believe that they do not need a teacher to practice along the Buddhist path. Even in the Dhammapada, we find the Buddha saying “Purity and impurity depends on oneself; no one can purify another'' (Dhammapada XII, verse 165). Why is it important, then, to work with a teacher, and even more, to be discerning in your choice?
Buddhist teacher Ken McLeod offers one perspective to this age-old question: "When we start exploring the mystery of being, we are still mired in habituated patterns. Limited in perception to a world projected by these patterns, we do not and cannot see things as they are. We need a person, a teacher, who, standing outside our projected world, can show us how to proceed," (McLeod, 2001). A spiritual teacher can be an important support on the path. They can be a mirror for us helping us see our blindspots and edges, nudging us in particular directions and encouraging specific areas of growth.
Lineage & Empowerment: In the world of Buddhist practice, lineage is considered to be a very important indicator of authenticity. The best and perhaps only way to deeply gauge a person’s wisdom and integrity is through a sustained relationship with a teacher and/or community, that is, by listening to the teachings and seeing if they accord with the Buddha’s teachings and by observing the teacher’s behavior to see if it accords with the precepts and the ten virtuous actions.
Unfortunately, deep spiritual practice can cause people to develop in lopsided ways. At best, a spiritual teacher is ethical, has deep insight, and perhaps brings forth a natural charisma emerging from these two qualities. However, someone can also become charismatic without necessarily being ethical. Or someone may have insight and deep integrity without being charismatic, causing potential students to overlook their skill as a teacher. Really any combination of these three qualities can exist in a person (except possibly wisdom without integrity - this is debatable.) With that being the case, it has been held for a long-time that the most reliable indicator of a practitioner’s development is the evaluation from their teacher. This evaluation must be built over time through an ongoing, committed relationship.
More recently, some organizations have begun authorizing people to teach meditation in a secular or quasi-Buddhist context, similar to an academic course. It should be noted that there is an enormous difference between the kind of training and empowerment one can expect to receive in a course compared to a more traditional relationship between a spiritual teacher and student or in long-term monastic training. Generally, courses teach people to administer particular techniques safely to participants in a particular, constrained context. They are aimed at scale rather than depth. They do not permit someone to become a “spiritual teacher” in the sense of taking responsibility for guiding one to final stages of the spiritual path or skillfully instructing students through the broad variety of obstacles that can emerge in one’s practice life.
Regardless of one’s lineage and empowerment, genuine insight (or awakening) is an unpredictable matter. One person may train for thirty years and not experience insight and another person may experience a depth of insight that is rare for one’s first year of practice. It’s pretty safe to assume that any method or system of learning meditation that promises “enlightenment” in a certain amount of time is not worth your energy. There are some schools of Buddhism that structure their training like a curriculum, but students vary widely in how long they take to complete the curriculum of scriptural study and practice. And generally, when this is done legitimately, completing such a curriculum is a matter of ten to twenty years of dedicated training.
If you’re looking for a meditation teacher that can guide you to the deepest kinds of transformation available through Buddhist practice, lineage is a critical factor to consider. Even if someone has incorporated a lot of scientific language or altered the presentation of Buddhist teachings in significant ways, when push comes to shove, you should be able to ask the following questions to a teacher-in-question and receive a straight answer:
Who was your primary teacher?
What was your lineage of practice?
How long did you train with them? What was that training like?
Were you given permission by them to teach in that lineage?
What was the nature of that permission?
Generally, we would recommend you be very cautious working with a spiritual teacher who cannot provide coherent answers to the questions above. There are rare cases of self-realized people, but even in this case, they frequently have not done the work of training themselves to be the best equipped to guide others.
To determine someone’s legitimacy as a teacher (or simply a source of information about practice), ask them the above questions directly or ask others in the community. You may also want to ask someone with adjacent experience in the Buddhist world about the legitimacy of the individual teacher themself.
Generally, becoming a teacher requires an absolute minimum of 5 years of (rigorous) training, though 10+ years is more standard. Red flags to look out for is if someone has not done this kind of training, does not have a good relationship with their teacher, holds no “credentials” from their lineage (ie. no permission to teach), the recent teachers in that lineage have major drama in its recent history (which can be determined with a good old google search), or are otherwise highly unorthodox.
This need not be a hard and fast rule that everyone who cannot check all of the boxes perfectly is not worth paying attention to whatsoever. There is complexity in living relationships that means that good teachers sometimes do not check all the boxes.
Currently, some lineages have very high standards for empowering new teachers, such that they have many practitioners with very deep practices but no teaching credentials. If such practitioners are guiding others in a limited capacity while recognizing their limits and will readily refer you onward to other teachers when you reach a place in practice that they can no longer guide you, this is a good sign.
Conversely, there are lineages that empower people very quickly. People may claim a high degree of teaching permission and sound convincing, but their practice background doesn’t necessarily reflect their “talk.” As such, it is suggested that all of this be taken as a holistic picture.
Humility and Humanity: Make sure charismatic talks are not your only guiding factor for the skillfulness of a teacher. Dig deeper: does the teacher offer more than just charm and persona? It’s important to recognize the mind’s tendency to attach to thoughts like: “Ah! I found the perfect teacher! This person is going to save me! They have no flaws.” Part of the discernment process is to notice your own mind’s habits in relation to the very idea of “a spiritual teacher.” Sometimes, people that are holding themselves as flawless or “perfected” are assuming a persona, whereas teachers who are upfront about their limitations can actually be much more trustworthy.
One way to spot this is to notice whether or not they acknowledge the limitations of their perspective and the weaknesses of their own practice. The prospect of meeting any “fully enlightened beings” is so rare that you should functionally ignore the possibility that your teacher is one of them. They will have flaws. And it is a strong sign of a healthy and integrated relationship to their practice and role if they readily admit their flaws and take responsibility for their own ongoing practice. Knowing how to accept when they’ve made a mistake signals a growth mindset that can be a wonderful example and teaching in and of itself.
Conversely, a red flag for an unhealthy community is if a teacher implies or explicitly states that they are “perfectly” enlightened. If their long-term students believe their teacher is “perfectly” enlightened and are not corrected, this may also be a warning sign.
Innovation: There are many teachers, communities, & projects within the Buddhist world that are contemporary “spin-offs” of more traditional lineages. These include innovative, radical, or repackaged versions of Buddhist practice. Usually there is one charismatic figurehead who creates a break from the traditional lineage. In considering building a relationship with such an organization, get very curious about the nature of this “break.” Ask the lineage their perspective on what happened. Broken relationships in a teacher’s history is strong information about what’s going on.
If a part of that community’s discourse is framed explicitly in opposition to others forms of practice, to the original lineage - if they’re promising that they’re different, unique, special, or offer a higher form of realization than anyone else, this is a red flag. Conversely, if they’re operating with a baseline of respect for the broad variety of practices, and are in dialogue with other organizations or scientific institutions, this is a good sign.
Alliance: Does the teacher make you feel listened to and understood? Sometimes this can be non-verbal. For example, you might feel genuine support in their presence. Angela Jamison, an Ashtanga Yoga teacher and a practitioner of 22 years, shares that a teacher’s loving understanding of you is, “expressed (among other ways) through pure, quiet, non-sticky attention in the present moment.” This is the vibe that moves energy away from the teacher and fuels students’ growth. Another way of saying this is - pay attention to the direction that energy tends to move in the relationship. Is the teacher “drawing” students’ admiration, love, attention, and energy towards them? Are they the “center” of every interaction? Or do they tend to redirect attention, avoid the spotlight, and highlight the positive qualities of those around them?
In a healthy student-teacher dynamic, the student will feel like the “center” of the interaction rather than the teacher. If a teacher seems to be assuming their role in order to “get” something (for example, validation, attention, or other unmet emotional needs) from their students, disengage. There may be a subtle bodily intuition when this is happening. These dynamics are often subtle. Trust your gut.
A healthy dynamic may look different depending on the cultural context of the teacher and student. As Beth Upton, a Western Dharma teacher notes, “most people experience a big difference in learning from an Asian teacher in Asia vs a Western teacher who has trained in Asia.” This difference in cultural programming might cause misunderstandings in teacher and student approaches and increase the friction of learning from one another. There are definite benefits to working with a teacher from your cultural background. On the other hand, many of the deepest and most dedicated practitioners are in Asia or of recent Asian descent. So, it is a balance.
Timeliness & Directness: Sometimes a student must be in a certain time and circumstance to hear the teachings for the most benefit. While exploring a relationship with a particular teacher or community, notice whether the teachings actually directly meet the circumstances of your life. A good teacher may be very direct, indirect, or simply let one’s presence be the teaching depending on their style and what’s appropriate for a student. Even if someone has a lot of good ideas, do their teachings land for you in your life to alleviate suffering right now? Do the teachings have a sense of ‘timeliness’ for you? A person may be a brilliant teacher, but not for everybody at all times.
Boundaries & Ethics: Does the teacher set clear boundaries with their students? Is there an ethical council that can support you if the teacher has crossed a line? Sallie Jiko Tisdale (2014), a Zen lay teacher, shares that while “About 90% of the work that happens between a teacher/student is the student’s work [...] 90% of the protective nature of that relationship is the teacher’s responsibility.” It’s important to feel safe with how someone conducts themselves.
Do some research about an organization's ethical code of conduct. Some questions to guide your search are: Is there a teacher misconduct policy? An anonymous reporting system for harm that takes place within the Sangha? What is the power structure of the organization? Western Buddhism is currently in a state of innovation regarding classical, “top-down” power structures versus those more similar to the nonprofit sector at large (with genuine board governance and oversights on the power of senior teachers). Consider what the power structure is with the organization you are engaging with and if you are comfortable with it.
Patience & Forgiveness: Mistakes will inevitably occur in a community - by you, by a teacher, or others in the community. Pay careful attention to how mistakes are handled. At best, conflict is immediately and transparently addressed with clear boundaries but little blame, shame, or guilt. Does the teacher act with patience and forgiveness under pressure? Having a teacher that is able to accept their own humanity, as well as yours, while encouraging forward movement for everyone, will help smooth any bumps that come up.
One sign that can indicate an unhealthy student-teacher relationship is unskillful feedback. Abusive teachers often disguise their abuse under the guise of “feedback.” This can be subtle - in a Dharma practice, often our mistakes come from our immaturity as practitioners and (sometimes sharp or direct) feedback from a teacher can help us learn about ourselves and mature.
A few things to watch: notice if expectations for students are clear, consistent, and attainable (although possibly challenging) or confusing, ambivalent, or impossibly high. If it is unpredictable when, how, or for what reason someone might receive stern feedback, be careful. Psychologist Alexandra Stein, a specialist in high demand groups and cults, describes how in abusive communities, "the “leader or group alternates terror with love” in an erratic way, (Stein) This slowly causes dissociation in the part of the the nervous system that tells us what is safe and what is unsafe. This is common in unhealthy student-teacher dynamics. Another version of this is if a teacher blames students for friction in the student-teacher relationship.
One helpful distinction is noticing the difference between blame or shame and skillfully delivered feedback. If feedback is being given with an emotional weight behind it (often anger or judgement,) this can be disguised as “skillful” when in fact it is really coming from someone’s afflictions. This kind of dynamic can become very harmful over time.
Characteristics of the Sangha:
It may seem counterintuitive to focus on the characteristics of the Sangha when looking for a teacher, but a community is very indicative of the kind of teacher that leads it. You cannot separate a teacher from the ecosystem they belong to and help to create. James Ford (2006) elaborates on this by saying, “The community (sangha) is as much the teacher as the person with the title.”
In the following section, we’ll break down what might indicate a beneficial student-teacher relationship through the lens of the community (Sangha).
Recommendation from a Friend. Maybe you already practice in a meditation group or Sangha. Is there any practitioner, perhaps a spiritual friend you admire that could recommend a teacher for you? It is helpful to seek out the genuine connections you already have to direct your search for a teacher, as they might have a better sense of what you’re looking for and what to avoid.
Once you find a potential teacher, notice the students. Are they mere carbon copies of the teacher, or is their practice more tailored to their needs? Do the students have qualities and ways of being that you want to embody? While conforming to a particular structure can often be helpful for students, be careful to notice if conformity and deference gets in the way of skillful means of a student’s path.
Find time to talk to the students. They can often give you insight about the teacher in a way that pamphlets or public speaking events can’t. Students have more access to a teacher’s personal daily life and can vouch for if a teacher is walking the talk. In particular, it may be helpful to speak with students that have been working with that teacher for a longer period of time. What’s their “vibe”? At a gut-level, do they seem happy? Does the practice seem to be working? Do you want to embody the qualities they exhibit?
A person having a powerful presence in itself does not guarantee their ability to safely and effectively teach. Often, the demonstrated practice of their top students can be a much more powerful endorsement of their skill.
Characteristics of the Student (You)
Your Search Process. There is a particular approach to begin a relationship that Zen teacher Lewis Richmond (2020) suggests: watch, ask, feel, try it on, and commit. While engaging with this particular search process, there are a few characteristics that are worth taking note:
Self Awareness & Humility. In the beginning of your search, it is wise to develop a balance of discriminative wisdom and humility. Because the whole of the spiritual path is riddled with uncertainties and mistakes, being impartial and open minded is a critical factor. As such, taking feedback whole heartedly as an opportunity to improve will serve as a great asset to your student-teacher relationship. At the same time, it is important to rely on discriminative intelligence. In The Foundation of Buddhist Practice (2021), it is said that “If something doesn’t hold up to reasoning, we should not accept it unless it can legitimately be interpreted to mean otherwise.” If something feels off to you, that’s probably because it is. And if you’re self-aware enough to know you’re the type of person that works best in a warm, mentorship dynamic, perhaps focus your search on teachers that provide that style of support. Discriminative intelligence, self awareness and open-mindedness are tools that keep you on your path. Those tools, alongside a good dose of humility, will bring about a teacher that is right for you to work with.
Vulnerability. As you develop a relationship with a teacher, commit to vulnerability. This really just means being honest about what’s happening for you in your practice and life. Playing ‘teacher’s pet’ might have benefitted you in your school days, but in a spiritual setting it does not lead to genuine growth. Being real and messy - and acknowledging exactly where you are - allows real change to take place. It can be uncomfortable at first, but it is always worth it to lean into vulnerability. In the context of a student-teacher relationship, allowing your vulnerability and whole self to show often helps the teacher understand you more so they can support you better.
Respect. A healthy balance of respect for your teacher will help remove obstacles of doubt in your practice. This is not to say that you need to develop a relationship where your teacher can “do no wrong” - a type of blind faith that atrophies qualities of discriminating wisdom and reasoning. But a healthy dose will allow you to deepen your awareness toward the teachings and move them into your heart where there is a fresh and vital energy for the practice. You should also feel respect from your teacher just as much as you offer your respect to them.
Patience. The process of discernment and building trust takes time. There are no hacks or shortcuts here. There is also no rushing the process of finding a teacher, whether it takes weeks, years or a lifetime. Understand that commitment is born from the gradual steps of discernment. By being patient, dedicating ourselves to practice, and allowing our own discriminating wisdom to guide us, we create the conditions for the right practice environment and teacher to appear. It is not magic - just a resolve to see not only the teacher, but life, as continual teaching.
Self-Compassion. It might feel overwhelming to take in a list of qualities and stack yourself up against such an ideal. Remember that no one is perfect. Even if you have a few forays into communities that do not “work out,” all of this experimentation can fold back into the process of maturing and developing clearer expectations for ourselves and others. By holding ourselves and our process with warmth and compassion, we transform even our setbacks into growth.
Student-Teacher Interactions
From searching for a teacher to entering the relationship, here are a couple things to consider.
Asking a Teacher: After you have examined the teacher’s behavior and characteristics of the Sangha, you may be wondering the proper way to ask a teacher to “be your teacher.” Beth Upton, a meditation teacher, shares “Perhaps the best guidance would be simply to ask the teacher if they have any process around accepting students.” What it means to become a “student” varies between communities. Make sure to be clear on what the expectations for the teacher-student dynamic prior to committing to anything.
Projection & Imperfection: Longtime practitioner and psychotherapist Rob Preece describes his first student-teacher relationship with his Tibetan Lama as a devotion akin to falling in love or limerence. Projecting his ideal self onto the Lama, Preece (2020) realized, “I gave away other significant aspects of my power: my own volition and my own authority and discriminating wisdom.” It is important to offer respect and devotion to our teacher, but not at the expense of our own volition and discerning wisdom.
Commitment: There are many different models of a student-teacher relationship. Some student-teacher relationships are similar to committing to a life partner in a marriage, and others emphasize mentorship among an array of teachers. In all of these relationships, some level of commitment helps establish a level of trust that benefits the practice. Norman Fischer, Zen priest, (2019) urges us to trust the practice when entering this relationship. He says,“When you really trust the process of the practice more than you trust your limited self, the limited sangha, or what happens in the short run, you realize that the magic of the practice is much stronger than you thought.”
Discomfort: Your teacher is not there to coddle you, but to help you grow. Expect the teacher to keep you at the edge of discomfort while still providing the encouragement to proceed.
Personal Growth: Are you progressing along the path? If you feel stuck, stagnant or blocked while you have been a student to a particular teacher, it might be an indication that a better teacher or style of teaching would suit you. Some wonderfully obvious advice I heard once was to genuinely reflect after a period of practice - are you suffering less? Buddhist practice is meant to end suffering. And it does work. If it is not working, change something.
Friendship: Is there a heart resonance when you are with them? The Buddha spoke of friendship as the whole of spiritual life. More than just an authority figure, your teacher might be a spiritual friend, a kalyana mitta. This is the type of alliance that makes the tough love moments digestible and the rough bumps possible.
Gratitude: Students are not traditionally under financial obligation for their teachers. Teachers do not charge for their relationship with students. However, students will often show their gratitude through supportive actions like volunteering and material offerings. However, the most powerful offering of gratitude that students can give their teaching is their progression on the path.
Moving Beyond Teachers:
Ultimately, the role of a spiritual teacher is to make themselves unnecessary. It is a relationship that serves as a vehicle for you to realize completely, and permanently, the truth of your own nature. There are many different forms of this kind of relationship. In some cases, a student may live and study directly with a spiritual teacher for decades. In other cases, this isn’t necessary. Renowned Thai Forest meditation master Ajahn Chah only met the man whom he considered to be his teacher, Ajahn Mun, once. Just that one meeting demonstrated to him that liberation was real. It served as a point of inspiration and reflection for many years before he too deeply realized the truth of the teachings.
It’s important to recognize that for most people, the deepest experiences in Buddhist practice do require community and guidance from more advanced “spiritual friends” at least at some point. But we must also recognize that liberation is a process of relinquishing our attachments - including to teachers, communities, and even practice itself. Wherever you are and whatever you circumstance, I hope this article has brought a little bit of clarity while also recognizing that this inquiry is unique and personal to each and every person’s karma and life. Nobody else can answer this question for you. I wish you the best in your process.
Bibliography:
Staff, L. R. (2009, August 21). Ask the teachers: How do you know if you should be with one teacher or another? Lions Roar. Retrieved January 3, 2023, from http://www.lionsroar.com/ask-the-teachers-how-do-you-know-if-you-should-be-with-one-teacher-or-another
Ford, J. I. (2006). Zen master who?: A guide to the people and stories of zen. Wisdom Publications.
Fischer, N. (2019, October 21). No teacher of zen. Lions Roar. Retrieved January 3, 2023, from http://www.lionsroar.com/no-teacher-of-zen
Franz, K. (2021, December 1). The ordinary, extraordinary teacher. Lions Roar. Retrieved January 3, 2023, from http://www.lionsroar.com/the-ordinary-extraordinary-teacher
Jiko Tisdale, S., Power, M., Boorstein, S., & Lion's Roar Staff. (2014, February 18). Forum: Your teacher and you. Lions Roar. Retrieved January 3, 2023, from https://www.lionsroar.com/forum-your-teacher-and-you/
Lama, T. D., & Chodron, T. (2021). The foundation of Buddhist practice. Wisdom.
McLeod, K. (2002). Wake up to your life: Discovering the Buddhist path of attention. HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.
O'Brien, B. (2018, August 11). Finding a good Buddhist teacher. Learn Religions. Retrieved January 3, 2023, from http://www.learnreligions.com/finding-your-teacher-449973
O'Brien, B. (2009, March 10). When the student is ready... Lions Roar. Retrieved January 3, 2023, from http://www.lionsroar.com/when-the-student-is-ready
OvO. (2016, July 1). Vetting teachers • 1 July 2016. INSIDEOWL. Retrieved January 3, 2023, from http://www.insideowl.com/2016/07/01/one-tool-for-vetting-teachers
Preece, Rob. “Our Teachers Are Not Gods.” Lions Roar, 16 July 2020, http://www.lionsroar.com/teachers-not-gods
Richmond, Lewis. “Guidelines for Choosing a Buddhist Teacher.” Lions Roar, 16 July 2020, http://www.lionsroar.com/what-if-guidelines-for-choosing-a-teacher
---. “Guidelines for Choosing a Buddhist Teacher.” Lions Roar, 16 July 2020, http://www.lionsroar.com/what-if-guidelines-for-choosing-a-teacher
Rinpoche, Yongey Mingyur. “When a Buddhist Teacher Crosses the Line.” Lions Roar, 6 Dec. 2019, http://www.lionsroar.com/treat-everyone-as-the-buddha
Staff, Lion’S Roar. “Ask The Teachers: How Do You Know if You Should Be With One Teacher or Another?” Lions Roar, 10 June 2021, http://www.lionsroar.com/ask-the-teachers-how-do-you-know-if-you-should-be-with-one-teacher-or-another
Stein, Alexandra. “The Role of Disorganized Attachment in Extremist Organizations.” June 2020, https://www.alexandrastein.com/uploads/2/8/0/1/28010027/jump-2020-abgelegt.abgereist.ausgestiegen._perspektiven_der_ausstiegsarbeit-1_as.pdf
Richmond, L. (2010, June 1). Guidelines for choosing a Buddhist teacher. Lions Roar. Retrieved January 3, 2023, from https://www.lionsroar.com/what-if-guidelines-for-choosing-a-teacher/#:~:text=Kindness%2C%20friendliness%2C%20humility%2C%20a,before%20accepting%20him%20or%20her.